Families, Couples, and Marriage Counseling

Families, couples, and marriage counseling can sometimes be difficult for even the best of therapists because each member of the family, couple, or marriage brings into the room many different family histories. To get people to be open to change and willing to try something new can be difficult and scary. But if people in the system are willing to look at what was healthy in their family and what was not, it can be very successful. This can take months and even years if there is past abuse in any of the people in the new system’s life.

This counselor uses Bowenian Therapy to help people examine how their past is affecting their present relationships, resolve past childhood hurts, and learn new coping skills to manage emotions and practice healthy communication. This counselor also screens for any current abuse in the family or relationship and may at times want to split the family and work with them individually to help them gain coping skills to manage their emotions to stop the abuse before doing family or couples therapy.

We may also look at doing grief work and forgiveness work if there has been any type of abuse or infidelity. Once both parts of the couple or all the parts of the family have worked on healing and feel safe, then and only then will this counselor meet with them as a couple or a family. This counselor also may refer out for services she cannot provide if the courts are involved.

This counselor also uses cognitive-behavioral, family systems, and dialectical-behavioral therapy interventions in individual, family, and couples therapy. Our systematic approach to couples therapy is based on enhancing communication between partners and establishing short- and long-term goals, with both partners given their own schedules of expectations to be fulfilled, effectively working towards improving the relationship. With a third, neutral perspective, we help bring clarity to the relationship by clearly defining the mistakes each has made and where the overreaction caused the emotional outburst, which, in turn, deepened the hole in the relationship. We define the treatment path in couples therapy after patiently listening and carefully understanding the problems the couple is facing.

Our practical and scientific approach, while balancing and weighing the emotions at stake, helps us bring in the much-needed transparency and attachment among the partners. It definitely helps to do the right thing and make the right decision, not only for the relationship but also personally. A relationship goes through numerous phases during its life cycle, and it is obvious that it will have a few rough patches. The strength of a relationship is reflected in how the couple navigates rough patches and moves forward. The lifestyles of people and modern thinking have changed the way people think about relationships.

This has turned the statistics for divorce and marriage upside down. While divorce and separation are necessary in many cases, if the problems are not only circumstantial, but also irrecoverable and irreversible. We believe that love should be given a chance, and that relationships can be saved if only the people involved take that first step and make that last-ditch effort to save their relationship. And, this is where the couple therapy comes in. Our approach to couples therapy is not only about solving the problems the couple is facing, but also about reviving the feelings of love and affection they have for each other.

My marriage needed help

I was hesitant to go to therapy after going in and out for years, but I needed help and my marriage needed help. I found Nanette through an internet search and it sounded like a good match.  Nanette was welcoming, flexible, and extremely kind. She always knows what to say and how to guide me. She has helped me learn about myself, my husband, and how to communicate better in our marriage. It’s definitely a work in progress and takes a lot of work, but her direction and assistance has brought us so far. I can’t imagine where I would be without her, and the tools she has provided me.

Jennifer B